God isn’t done with me yet.
Two years ago this week, I stood at the precipice of despair. Life, it seemed, had become an insurmountable challenge, and the weight of my responsibilities and the struggles I was facing threatened to pull me under. The light at the end of the tunnel had grown dim, almost to the point of non-existence, and I found myself contemplating an escape — an escape from this life, a way to silence the cacophony in my mind. The darkness was daunting, a scary abyss that I felt I was being drawn into. At that moment, I made a decision that I was going to end my own life. But I want you to know something crucial: the story does not end there. I’m still here, alive and fighting because God wasn’t done with me yet.
During that dark period, I was fortunate enough to have friends and family who wrapped their arms around me and refused to let me go. Their love was a beacon in my storm, reminding me of my worth, of their unyielding belief in me, and their unwavering faith that I could and would get through this. Even when I was in doubt, they were the fuel that kept my flickering hope alive. In these moments, we truly understand the power of connection, empathy, and of compassion.
I won’t pretend that everything has been sunshine and rainbows since then. There have been days of stumbling and moments of doubt. However, the key to my journey has been recognizing that setbacks are just that — temporary obstacles, not the end of the road. Every step I’ve taken and every therapy session I’ve attended has made me stronger and more resilient. I am grateful Denver Public Schools has made therapy available to all board members that want to access those services. We should never be ashamed of asking for help. This is a testament to the quality of support we can access, even when we feel we’re at our most vulnerable.
Serving as the Vice President of the Denver School Board has been an honor but also a journey filled with pressure and stress. There have been times when the weight of the decisions we make, the impact on the young minds we are shaping, has felt unbearable. But, just like two years ago, I refuse to give in.
In my desk drawer, there is a letter, a tangible reminder of my lowest point. A letter of resignation I wrote two years ago, a poignant symbol of the despair I was wrestling with at the time. But I never signed it. Today, I keep it as a reminder — a reminder of how far I’ve come, how far I could fall, and how desperately I must fight to never return to that point. Each time I feel overwhelmed, I read that letter, reminding myself that if I didn’t quit on our kids on my hardest day, there is no reason to quit now.
The struggles we face should never be used as weapons against us. It is essential to remember that it’s okay to seek help, it’s okay to admit that we’re struggling. Being a leader doesn’t mean we’re invincible. It means we must recognize our own needs and take steps to ensure we’re mentally and emotionally equipped to lead.
As Coloradans, we cannot ignore the growing mental health crisis, especially among our young people. In Colorado alone, suicide is the leading cause of death for individuals aged 10–24. This statistic is heart-wrenching and reinforces the urgency to openly talk about mental health, shatter the stigma surrounding it, and ensure everyone knows there is help available.
If you or anyone you know is struggling, there are resources available to help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support at 1–800–273-TALK (8255). For young people specifically, Colorado Crisis Services offers immediate help at 1–844–493-TALK (8255) or text “TALK” to 38255. Remember, there is always someone ready and willing to listen.
The theme of my story isn’t unique to me. It’s a testament to the resilience in all of us, to our ability to persevere in the face of despair. God isn’t done with any of us yet. We have the strength to keep going, to keep fighting, and to keep hoping. It’s okay to ask for help, to lean on those around us. You are not alone. You are valued. You are loved. And just like me, God isn’t done with you yet.
Jeremiah 29:11:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (NIV)
Auon’tai M. Anderson, Vice President of the Denver School Board
